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Bad movie matinee – ‘H. G. Wells’ The Shape of Things to Come’

Every now and again on this blog I will be highlighting a guilty pleasure or long forgotten classic movie that should really have a new day in the sun. This is an exception! As a 9 year old in the darkened assembly hall at school I was transported to the moon and on into deep space. There were space ships and robots and lots and lots of big hair. Safely in the gnarled hands of the beloved Barry Morse ™ I crossed the stars, fought baddie robots that make sinister bleeping noises and even experienced slow-mo orgasms (see later post). I didnt even laugh at Carol Lynley’s dreadful prozac acting style or even when a mighty girder (polystyrene packaging material bounced off Jack Palance’s head.

Booo Hiss – he’s a baddie don’t you know!

Did I mention the big hair? I mean BIG hair!

The Beloved Barry Morse and ‘funny’ robot Sparks. And btw did I mention BIG hair!

Riding on the back of the success of Star Wars – comes this woefully bad Canadian film that purports to be based on H. G. Well’s novel. My arse!

Of course I loved it as a 9 year old.

Beloved Barry Morse – check out his reaction shots – he’s a legend!

I often find myself in the Canadian countryside wearing just a scarlet jumpsuit and being attacked by wobbly armed robots of death. Thank God I always carry a poking stick!

zero gravity orgasms anyone?

Quality model work in the space ship – check!
Wobbly camera work to look like the ship is taking a battering – check!
Dangerous backward tumbles – check!
Stupid robots made from an upturned bin – check!
Fantastic BIG hair (Elnet in space) – check!
Simulated orgasms???? – WTF!

FYI, this is not the genuine soundtrack, but it may have made it better!

As if the film couldn’t get any worse here is beloved Barry Morse acting his socks off in his death scene – death by disco ball!
Sadly, I watched this movie again – and it stinks. But it stinks in a wonderful way. So I urge you to seek it out and feast yourself on badness. Just don’t sue me!


About frasier1

An arty farty, gay geek musing on movies, art & culture!

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