Whilst at the newsagents!


Mooching around the newsagents today, renewing my subscription to Needlework Monthly, I came across this months’ Interview Magazine.

I love magazine covers because on the rack they have to stand out and be noticed. Hence the amount of top name photographers pulling out all the stops (did you see what I did there?). Steven Klein is responsible for this example.

This is a very cool cover –

 

 

It took me a second to work out that it was our favourite bitey man Eric Northman what with the dark hair and all but there’s no doubting that this is a powerful cover shot that POPs!!

and some other shots from the shoot

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Oh God! I am gonna cry buckets!


If you have seen my previous posts, you will know how much I want to see War Horse on stage. I am particularly keen to see the amazing looking puppets.

Now I have seen the trailer for the Spielberg movie of the book and play.

I can watch any amount of movies that are dripping in sentiment and not have even the teeniest bit of welling up. I can watch any amount of mistreatment, murder and mutilation of humans and barely shrug BUT if there are any animals mistreated or hurt or distressed – then out come the waterworks!

This trailer had me blubbing in seconds – I had better wear dark glasses coming out of the cinema

 

The mad world of Madame Yevonde!


Yevonde Cumbers was an Edwardian photographer and a passionate suffragette. She moved in circles that saw her make acquaintances with all the most interesting and glamorous figures of the time including the Mitford sisters.

As a result she has created a stunning collection of photographic portraits that are not only a record of her amazing era but also infused with her often bizarre ideas, costumes and poses to avoid the cliches of portrait photography that were inherent at the time.

Lady Malcolm Campbell as Niobe

(I am assuming that those are tears!)

Mrs Edward Meyer as Medusa

Lady Bridgett Poulett as Arethusa

Mrs Richard Hart-Davies as Ariel

Mrs Anthony Eden as the Muse of History

Lady Milbanke as Queen of the Amazons

Baroness Gagern as Europa

self-portrait

A visual history of Mr Bruce Willis


Bruce Willis is one of those stars who, no matter how rubbish his movies can be, is still extremely watchable. And even though, in his early career, he may have come across as a bit of an irritating, smarmy, arrogant bleep! I think that may have all been in my head and that he is in fact a very hardworking professional actor who, as far as I can tell, has never been in a scandal or has depsorted himself to the detriment of him or his family – of course I am suppressing the memory of his singing career.

Therefore, with that said, I would like to make this visual tribute to the one and only Bruce Willis –

My earliest memory of the young Brucey –

Sing along with me kids – “Some walk by night / some fly by day….”

He was very tiny!

Then came the movies – unfortunately this was the first!

Directed by Blake Edwards and co-starring Kim Basinger, why was it so forgettable?

So bad I wont even make you suffer with photo’s from the film.

The another turkey by Blake Edwards –

A teeny bit smug perhaps?

And perhaps he should be because then Brucey hits the payload –

I mean, who doesn’t want to see this every Christmas rather than ‘The Grinch’?

But getting to work with good directors doesn’t always reap good rewards. Did anyone actually see ‘In Country’ by Norman Jewison?

But it proved he could pull off a ‘stache.

Should we even bother with ‘Look Who’s Talking’?

Ok, back on action territory for ‘Die Hard 2’ – not my favourite but good fun all the same –

 

Ye God’s – I am sure he was contractually obliged to do ‘Look Who’s Talking Too!’ but I bet he did it under sufferance when he heard Roseanne was his co-voice –

 

Interesting choice the next movie – it could have been inspired casting across the board or the weirdest case of studio/Hollywood interference ever. Get the rights to the book of the decade – a biting satire on everything eighties – and stuff it with every top star who was bankable at that time.

Sadly the title summed it up just a little too ironically –

But Brucey did manage to sport some face furniture. But my! Doens’t he look like he has realised waht a mess he’s got himself into?

I vaguely remember this next one, probably watched on VHS on a rainy saturday afternoon after I wasn’t quick enough to get a good movie –

I am guessing this was when he met the Demi!

And sporting yet more intriguing facial fuzz

And yet could his nadir have come next?

Yes! You may well look embarrassed young man! Shame on you!

Did he redeem himself with the next film? – Almost!

Billy Bathgate was a quality affair, great cinematography and a Dustin Hoffman ™ performance. But it was largely forgetable in ways that something like ‘Miller’s Crossing’ wasn’t.

Returning to action again, Brucey is teamed up with Damon Wayans for –

Saved from being a ‘Lethal Weapon’ clone by Shane Black’s sparkling screenplay and Tony Scott’s eye for looks and action, The Last Boy Scout is great fun without it necessarily being one to mention on the Willis’s obituary.

 

We all new The Willis can do comedy – or at least spit out some good one liners, but in ‘Death Becomes Her’ Brucey does the straight man to Meryl Streep and Goldie Hawn’s dead wives.

Who knew at this point what a great comedienne Meryl Streep could be? Just don’t ask me about Goldie Hawn – she belongs to that mugging school of ‘funny ladies’ which I can’t abide – (see Bette Midler in ‘Hocus Pocus’)

And Bruceylicious can do dowdy –

Featuring some ground breaking effects – something called CGI??? ‘Death Becomes Her’ is one of those films that if it comes on the telly on a Sunday afternoon is more fun to watch than anything on the other channels.

Next up – a cameo in one of those ‘spoof’ movies that can never ever better ‘Airplane’

But as you can see from the picture it features someone that The Brucemeister will be working with several times over the next few years.

 

I have always wanted to have the words ‘horse-faced Sarah Jessica Parker’ in my blog and now I have the perfect opportunity –

That’s about as much as I can say for this derivative action thriller – except it does have a couple of good action sequences as well as this shot –

And now – ladies and gentlemen – if you thought JuicyBrucey was a one-trick pony –

Pulp Fiction Poster

Although I know many of you will never read this blog again if I say that I felt ‘Pulp Fiction’ was merely, meh! but the Willis-sters performance broke new ground for his career

Well, of course, we know that it totally re-invigorated Travolta’s career but Brucey’s wasn’t at this time circling the toilet bowl quite as badly as John’s. Still a breakout performance and personally I was glad to see him embrace the baldy look!

North Poster

Hmmmmm! Love or or you loathe it. Sentimentality anyone?

The one with the Willis willy!

I know, I know, this was the film that featured the Willis willy but even the idea of that couldn’t make me watch it!

so here are the Brucey buttocks –

Perhaps feeling like working with a master, Bwillis takes a supporting role in a nice but not life changing movie starring Paul Newman

Is the Brucester looking nauseous?

Back to the Die Hard’s –

Die Hard: With a Vengeance Poster

and it is a whole lot of fun!

with Samuel L Jackson too!

Sadly Jeremy Irons is not a patch on Alan Rickman as a villain – He is far better as Scar!

 

Next – flat out comedy – or just a very flat comedy?

Four Rooms Poster

less said about this the better!

Now we’re talking –

Twelve Monkeys Poster

f-fantastic – love this movie!

Terry Gilliam – visual master director – check!

Brad Pitt – super performance – check!

Bruce Willis being amazing – check!

Madeleine Stone – oh well, you can’t have everything!

Missing out on a few cartoon voice-overs let’s go to –

Ok, not his Bruceynesses greatest moment, but a very very watchable movie and well worth looking up if you are a Willis completist –

and he looks good in a hat!

Another favourite coming right up!

‘Multi-pass’

The Fifth Element Poster

A film for which the term ‘crazy, sexy, cool’ was made for – ‘The Fifth Element’

Alarmingly bonkers but a visual feast with B’willis doing what he does best, cool beefcake –

How many guys do you know who could get away with an orange, latex, Jean-Paul Gaultier vest???

and am I wrong to think he can do blond??

Bruce Willis becomes a baddie! –

So yes, there should NOT be a remake of ‘The Day of the Jackal’ – it was unwanted and not needed but if you are going to have one ther it was an even bigger risk to have the Brucester as the Jackal acting ‘the hero’ Richard Gere off the screen?? I mean seriously – The Gere had no chance!

and he is going blond again –

and a buzz cut!

And now a new trend starts to appear – Brillis starts a to become the grizzled protector of a child/criminal/hacker wanted by baddies and/or goodies –

Autistic child genius? Why certainly sir! –

In between there is always the need to sacrifice yourself to save the Earth –

Armageddon Poster

The tagline was the only bit of humour about the entire movie – which was a barf-a-thon.

Just count how many times the American flag is shown in the movie – better not make it a drinking game or else A&E will be full of alcohol poisoning victims!

Like with most disaster movies, with subsequent watches I only really hang in for the early displays of destruction – see The Core, The Day After Tomorrow, 2012 etc etc etc

OMG! How come this film, with this cast and this budget was so fecking DULL!!!!

gotta love a man in uniform!

Although we love him unconditionally, why oh why would the Willis attempt to get himself involved with another much beloved book being filmed for the screen??

Breakfast of Champions Poster

UN-MITIGATED-DISASTER!

if only he saw this beforehand!

Mega-hit time!

With a touch of hyperbole!

Yes indeed, a good film, well made with another strong, actor-not-star performance by the Brucester – but really I ask you, if you have grown up watching any Twilight Zone, Outer Limits kinda programme were you really really suprised by the ‘revelation’ ?

What ever happened to that strange Osment child?

The Story of Us Poster

Skipping this one as I may just get queasy – too late BRB!

The Whole Nine Yards Poster

Is there anyone out there, like me, who thinks Matthew Perry has just one kind of schtick? – Yes? You Do? cool – let’s move on so –

appearing in ‘Friends’ – I guess ‘The Whole Ten Yards’ is just around the corner

Before all the action men in Hollywood decided to Disney-fy themselves, The Willis got in there first – with predictably vomit-inducing results!

Heading back to a hit can sometimes prove foolish –

But maybe it was the idea of working with Samuel L Jackson again that sealed the deal.

And then…..

Yikes! What sh+t, what hair!?!?!

Bandits Poster

let me rip out my eyes before I have to see this movie again!

Just how much photoshop???

It is very hard to make a tedious WWII movie, but they must have tried really hard!

Tears of the Sun Poster

Another duff….and for all its worthiness, I am beginning to think the Brucester is losing his touch!

 

Can the Brucester get himself bakc on track? Can he make another truly great, fun movie?

See the next gripping instalment of The Willis Filmography!